Adam Salsman [dot] com

Oh, dearest “Bubble Pop Electric” Gwen, where did I go wrong with you?

I hearted No Doubt. Your first solo album, while a bit too pop-tastic, had some 80s charm to give someone like me a moment or three of giggles.

Now, though, my ska-pop princess, you give us The Sweet Escape. And, I think one listening put me into a diabetic coma. In the bad way.

Gwen’s Escape takes the sugar sweet bubble gum pop of her last album, and dunks it into frosting, leaving it to dry on a bed of powdered sugar. She even makes beats that would make a decent hip-hop/rap background become annoying sugar-rap.

The one “saving” grace of the album is the first track, Wind It Up, and only due to it’s sampling of the Lonely Goat Herder song from The Sound of Music.

Yeah. She sampled the Sound of Music, and not even the title track.

In the end: While Gwen’s first solo outing was charming, if simple bubble-pop, Escape just feels rushed, uninspired, and painfully targeted towards that ‘Tween to late Teen crowd. Little style, no substance. Certified Coaster Gold.

On the Web: Let’s remember Gwen in a good way, and listen to a mashup of her ‘Hollaback Girl’ and Beck’s ‘Tambourine Girl’. Also, if you really want pain, hit up the Hype Machine.

Technorati Tagged: Gwen Stefani | Bubblegum Pop | 2006

I suffer so you, my adoring audience, does not have to.

Justin “I tear at Janet’s wardrobe” Timberlake’s latest effort, Futuresex/Lovesounds is the kind of thing that ranks above Madonna’s last album — BARELY.

While I don’t like Justin Timberlake the musician, I can’t help but enjoy him as an entertainer. He does have a certain charm, I accept, but charm only goes so far, J.Tim. And it just wasn’t enough to make this a good album, or, hell, even a tolerable one.

Sexy Back, the radio single, actually has a great beat, but I am just not impressed with the vocals. At all; I feel like he’s too white too properly pull off [Another Song] All Over Again; And Pose has the same thing going on as Sexy Back - great tune, vocals don’t impress me. The addition of the Dogg-Father is the only saving grace on this tune.

In the end: No. Someone(s) will enjoy this one, but not me. This guy says two thumbs down. You don’t have to put it in the microwave, but don’t listen to it either.

Technorati Tagged: Justin Timberlake | Pop Music | 2006